"Water is Life."

Joe in his traditional Ga dress and Evelyn on their way to church.

Joe and Evelyn

I have given myself a deadline!!!  I leave for the village of Aburi in 3 hours to see the famous “Aburi Botanical Gardens”—a 30 mile, 2-3 hour journey from where I live, such is the “travel experience” in Ghana.  I have been stuck on this post for over a week.  I keep writing, revising, deleting and starting over only to repeat the same over and over (feels like the instructions for washing my hair!).  I have this incredible host family and I want to share my experience with them.  So, I have two hours to get this accomplished.  WYSIWYG!!!!

I am not sure why but this post is the hardest that I’ve done so far.  I’ve been meaning to introduce you all to my host family and write about my experience staying in their home while in Ghana but every time I start to write about my “home stay” experience I start writing about Tro-tro’s instead!!  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps because it is so much easier for me to write about events and observations than it is to actually write about feelings and personal relationships with other human beings.  The truth is that I love my host family and, whether or not we remain in contact, these people will remain in my heart for the rest of my life.  

Exterior shot of "my home".

Kitchen

Joe's exercise room.

Evelyn's library.

My Room and  "bath".

I have been living in the home of Joe and Evelyn Quartey. They are somewhere in their mid-forties to early fifties (age is something that one does not ask here so I’m guessing), are probably what we would call upper-middle class, have no children but do have a huge extended family, and both are professionals.  He works in banking for Standard Chartered in the capital of Ghana (Accra) and she works in Human Resource Management and Marketing for the Regional Maritime University in Tema.  Both are well educated and have earned Master’s Degrees in Business Administration at the University of Ghana in Legon.  

I am staying in a really nice house in a really nice “gated Community” called Emefs Hillview

The Entrance to My Gated Community

Estates (although I have yet to view the hill!!).  I have my own room with a private bath. Considering that poverty is the number one social problem in Ghana I feel very fortunate.  Perhaps this isn’t “experiencing” Ghana as the majority live but, after having seen some of the poorest of the poor in my daily work and commute life, I am grateful to have this oasis at home.  Two months is just not enough time to absorb the culture shock that sharing the daily life of a majority of Ghanaian’s would bring.  

A more average Ghanaian home

Another example

I’ll start with Joe.  My impression is that he is a patient and quiet man who works hard and loves his family and his country.  He usually leaves for work around 7am and often does not return until after 9 pm.  His daily commute to work is unbelievable from Eugene, Oregon standards.  He is very devoted to his religion and prayer and worship are a big part of his daily life, not just the “Sunday go to meeting” observance that I see so often.  He is very tolerant of other religious points of view and has said that he thinks “spirituality” and forming a connection to a higher power is what is most important.  

Even though he speaks very little it is obvious that he observes and absorbs much more than his demeanor suggests.  He is very curious about the United States and asks a lot of question; many of which I try to remain as neutral as possible when discussing.  His questions revolve around what he sees as “bad” about the United States; some of the very things that make me glad that I am a United States Citizen.  He has queried me about the recent Supreme Court decision on DOMA (way to go 5 of 9!!!), the legalization of marijuana in several states and the concept of “medical marijuana”, the pro-life/pro-choice debate, Social Security, and the abhorrent treatment of the elderly and poor in our much less “extended family” oriented society (on this I may be more in agreement with Joe).

Joe is a very intelligent man and I enjoy my time with him very much.  He challenges me about some of my values and beliefs and makes me think.  On more than one occasion Joe has asked me, “Now that you are in Ghana has the way you think about Ghana changed?”  I had to honestly say that before I came to Ghana, I really didn’t think about Ghana at all.  Ghana just doesn’t hit the front page often.  I have come to realize that he is challenging me to separate Ghana from Africa.  To not assume that what is seen on the news (the ethnic, religious, and racial violence, the “lost boys”, the coup d'états, the apartheid, the rape, murders, and mutilations, and other atrocities, the Idi Amin’s and Charles Taylor’s) is a representation of all of Africa.  I now challenge you, my readers, to not confuse “Africa” with the countries on the continent of Africa and to stop assuming they are one and the same.  Ghana has been a democracy and at peace for over half a century; a boring fact that does not make for good “copy”.

Now about Evelyn; she is an impressive and wise woman.  She is also very beautiful.  I admire, respect, and adore her.  She, like Joe, spends incredible long hours at work each day; a good portion spent in the commute.  Her religion is also an important part of her daily life and she sets high moral values and standards for herself and others.  She is a very loving, caring, and giving woman.  She has been very generous by opening her home to me and has gone out of her way to help me to feel a part of her family.  She answers my questions about Ghana and gently instructs me when my habits may be offensive in her culture (such as crossing my legs in front of elders or sending my underpants to the laundry!).  

Evelyn is very intelligent and she and I share a curiosity about each other’s culture and lives.  We regularly compare and contrast aspects of our culture, daily life, upbringing, relationships with family and friends, life struggles and challenges, life’s joys, and so much more.  I find myself opening up to her in ways that I usually don’t even with my closest friends.  I think, to each of our surprise, that we are finding many more similarities than differences.  We are human being who happen to be female, one from Ghana and the other from the United States, who share the basic desires to be secure and happy.  

Evelyn has also made it a point that I should try all of the traditional Ghanaian dishes and has had all dishes from Fu Fu and Groundnut Soup to Banku and Orku Stew prepared for me.  I will go into more detail about food in another post, providing that the writer’s block I’ve been experiencing is dispelled by this post and the internet gods allow. 

This leads me to the subject of another member of the household.  Rahama (Rams), the live-in “house girl”. 

Rams taking corn to have it milled.

Rams is responsible for all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, toting, etc. that it takes to run the household.  Although I adore Rams I have had a hard time defining my relationship with her.  For Evelyn and Joe, I believe, Rams is an important member of the household yet she is not a member of the family.  Her “job” is to be of service.  I have my meals prepared each day, my room cleaned, my laundry done…..  Sometimes I try to do my own dishes and get a scowl and a scolding for my efforts.  I regularly say thank you and bring home little token gifts of appreciation but I do feel uncomfortable being “waited” on. 

For Joe, Evelyn, and Rams this is just part of life.  Rams is 21 years old and wants to be a nurse.  Being a housekeeper is not her life dream, but she recognizes that her work here will help her realize the dream.  It is not uncommon for a housekeeper’s pay to come in the form of room and board and educational expenses paid (often the housekeeper is a teenager still in high school).  The previous housekeeper for Joe and Evelyn is now a “Master Seamstress” with her own shop. Despite my struggle to understand this strange (to me anyway) household dynamic, I believe that Rams and I have become friends. 

Rams in her church outfit

One more thing about Joe, in addition to his full-time plus banking job he is hard at work forming a professional institution with some other investors.  Many of his weekend hours are spent on this endeavor.  He and his partners are trying to establish a school for training professional in the beauty industry.   I sense that Joe’s reason for involvement is three-fold:  1. He’s a stodgy middle-ager who is tired of hearing about there being no jobs available for the youth in Ghana. 2. He loves his country and really wants to make a difference. 3. As an investor he has hopes that his hard work will pay off financially.  Whatever the reason, a worthy cause indeed. 

I also should mention that the first four weeks that I was here there was no water “flowing” to the house.  It is pretty standard in Ghana that water “flows” every other week.  On the weeks that it flows “polytanks”

Polytanks

are filled as reserve for those weeks that is does not flow.  On the “flow” weeks water is used pretty freely.  On the weeks of “no flow” more conservative water use is practiced.  However, four weeks of “no flow” was cause for great concern.  We practiced water conservation to an extreme that I never thought possible.  Taking a complete bath in a couple of quarts of water while catching as much of the gray water as possible to water plants with was something I did not know I could master!!!  No water was wasted.  I have a new appreciation for water.

Evelyn

Evelyn would, daily, take several, ten gallon containers to work with her and fill them at a community water supply in Tema.  Rams would use them to fill water reservoirs in each room every day.   I got very familiar with the concept, “If it’s yellow then it’s mellow; if it’s brown flush it down” and learned how to manually flush a toilet.

On awakening each morning the question, “Is the water flowing?” was the first thing asked.  When the answer was finally “Yes”, there was a powerful release of tension for the entire household.  One time, when the answer was still “No” I said to Evelyn, “It’s all about the water, isn’t it?”  Her reply to me, “Water is life.”